Audition Monologues by The Monologue Project

A ballerina guy dancing in an open space

A STAGGERING DANCER

"A staggering dancer" is not quite the review you'd hope for.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

ABLEIST PIG

You gotta be careful what you say these days. You never know when you might cause offense

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

ACCLIMATISATION

Emotions are like the weather. If you're cold, a small drop in temperature has a huge effect. But can you build resilience?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A middle aged Blonde woman cleaning her clothe with a pet hair removal roller

AS GOOD AS A HOLIDAY

It’s not OCD, I just like things in a specific way and deviations are like an itch inside my brain which gets worse and worse.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A couple holding hands and both of them are wearing jeans

ASKING FOR HER HAND

A lesbian asks a conservative father for his daughter's hand in marriage.

DRAMA | FEMALE

BIG SCORE

How guilty would you feel if you sold 450 identical pairs of shoes to a suicide cult?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

BILLY DOESN'T LIKE YOU

Breaking up your child's friendship because you really can't stand the kid's mother.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

BITE YOUR TOUNGE

A foul-mouthed child, a passerby who won't have a bar of it.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

BLANK

A sufferer of chronic fatigue syndrome describes how life goes by without them.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man in a black hoodie staring at his phone and laptop

CAN'T BITE BACK

How do you fight back when you're bullied online?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

CANCEROUS BREAKUP

Are you a monster if you broke up with your girlfriend because she got cancer? Yes, yes you are.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A guy pushing a stack of boxes violently

CHANGE BLINDNESS

If something falls apart slowly over time, you don't notice it. It could be your kitchen bench, or your husband.

DRAMA | FEMALE

CITIZEN'S ARREST

Could you stand by if a crime were committed? A crime as grave as… spitting one's gum on the ground?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A monobloc chair in the middle of the road

COURTESY SEAT

A pregnant lady, elderly person, disabled person and injured person all fight for the courtesy seat.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A person covering up his/her face in fear

COWARD

A socially awkward woman in the park, a shady man, playing children and a coward.

DRAMA | FEMALE

A middle aged woman talking to airport officers

CUSTOMS INTERROGATION

An 80-year-old lady is stopped at an airport and her daughter gives the customs officers a piece of her mind.

DRAMA | FEMALE

DONUT TESTER

After failing a job interview, a fake donut tester gets serious about the artform.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man sitting in the seashore while watching the sunset

DREAM HOLIDAY

A holiday to a small town where someone's mother went missing 20 years ago.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A depressed woman watching her friend getting kicked out of the house

ENDZONED

Being friendzoned sucks. But being endzoned - that's something else indeed.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A woman standing infront of a tunnel of lights

EVERYONE OWNS A TELEPORTER IN THE FUTURE

You arrive in present times from the future but your teleporter has run out of battery. Would anyone believe you?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man that looks problematic while talking in a phone booth

EVERYTHING I EVER DID WAS FOR YOU

Your mum calls you and says "everything I ever did was for you", "I love you" and "goodbye". What's about to happen?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A woman staring at a hole in the wall with her eyes being visible because of the ray of light

FAMILIAR EYES

Would you let an innocent person have their organs harvested to save your child's life?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A muscular man in a gym doing his shoulder workout

GAINS

I have to keep going. I have to be stronger. I have to gain, because I don’t know what will be thrown my way.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

Two guys staring with each other looking inlove

GAY BY ELIMINATION

Just because you're dating another man, doesn't mean you're gay.

COMEDY | MALE

A bearded guy wearing a glasses with codes reflecting in his face

GENIUS

Am I a genius? I'd sound like a wanker if I said "yes", wouldn't I?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

GUIDE POOCH

Best café in the world. Bad coffee, but loads of doggos. But what happens when a guide dog comes by?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

GUILTY, NOT GUILTY

Too guilty to sell that fancy watch you found for a profit? Maybe the next guy won't have the same reservations.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A silhouette of two people shaking hands

HAGGLING

How perverse it is to haggle with someone in a third world country when your ten cents is worth ten dollars to them.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man and a woman arguing with each other

I COULD'VE STOPPED HIM

You protected your husband when he did an awful thing for the right reason. But what if it escalates?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A laptop, mouse, cellphone and a book tied and locked up together with a chain

I LOST THE PASSKEY TO OUR MUM'S BRAIN

Your mum's brain is stored on a passkey-protected hard drive, but the cleaner just threw out the passkey.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

IMPORTANT DECISIONS

A last meal. And it's ice cream. And it's for a dog.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man sitting holding his baton and Panama hat

IMPULSIVE PROBLEMS

When you impulsively kill your boss and dispose of most of his body, someone has to clean up the mess.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

Two couples hugging each other while both are looking at their phones at the same time

IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S MY EX

When your accent reminds your date of her ex cheating on her

COMEDY | FEMALE

KNOWING A NAME

Can the power of knowing someone's name get you free rent?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A woman holding her foot and acting like it was a phone

LIZARD HUMOUR

Maybe you're not quite as witty as you thought you were.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A woman loading the laundry machine with half of her body inside it

LOVE IN THE LAUNDROMAT

Is it easier to go talk to someone or just buy the laundromat you saw them in and wait for them to come back?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A newly wed couple staring in love with each other with full of lights in the background

LOVING MANDY

You love Mandy. When's a good time to tell Mandy this? Why, Mandy's wedding, of course!

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A detective sitting in a chair holding a magnifying glass while smoking a tobacco

MY DAD GOT
HIRED BY THE CIA

Why would the CIA hire the most technologically inept human being on the planet?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A dealer talking to a client waiting to sign a contract

NON-SERIOUS

A ridiculous counter offer to a reasonable plea bargain. Offensive? Sure. A sign of desperation? No doubt in the world.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A stack of vegetables in the grocery store

NOT A HEAD OF A LETTUCE

Tokyo finds a human head in a delivery of fresh vegetables. Will customer service help?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

NOT FOR FRIENDS

There are some things you should only do with your partner, not a friend.

DRAMA | MALE

OKAY COP, BETTER COP

An okay cop does the job. A good cop puts every single crim behind bars.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

ONE HOUR

Two thousand, three hundred and eighty-two hours, two thousand, three hundred and eighty-two lies.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

Mouth biting a pill with a happy face on it

PILLS FOR GRIEF AND GUILT

Taking a pill after the death of your child can totally remove your grief. But will the guilt that makes you feel be worse?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A crying blonde woman holding a handkerchief while blowing her nose

PRETALIATION

Would you kill someone you knew would hurt someone you love? An act of pretaliation might be needed.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A group of protests covering a part of the streets

PRO PROTEST

An accidental protestor finds an addictive new pursuit.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

PROCRASTINATION

Trying to write, succeeding in procrastination. Could it be they don't want to write the content?

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

PTSD

Once a soldier, always a soldier. Thrashing that man was an accident.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

Woman hand on the phone playing a music in an app

QUIET CARRIAGE COURTESY

Don't you hate that one person who always plays dance music in the quiet carriage?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

Two skulls biting a cigarette with ashes, lighter and a coin beside it

RANGER DANGER

A park ranger is fighting a man who's scattering his brother's ashes. Is it an injustice or a case of "live and let live"?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

ROBOPLUMBER

If you build a robot plumber that's the exact same model as the robot gigolo, customers will definitely get their pipes fixed.

COMEDY | FEMALE

A man in a black hoodie typing at his keyboard

RUSSIA #1 HACKER

Russia #1 hacker protect you from bad government.

COMEDY | MALE

SECRET GRANDMASTER

You played Tetris so much you accidentally become best in the world. Don't let anyone see you though!

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A silhouette of a guy inside a cell facing the window lights

SERVED COLD

It's the day your son's murderer is released from prison. You have no choice but to deliver real justice.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A silhouette of a girl doing a heart sign with her hands in front of the sun

SPECIAL DAY

The happiest day of her life came a few hours earlier than expected.

DRAMA | FEMALE

A man in a black hoodie staring down to the floor

STAY

A teen with an unhappy school life tries to convince their mum not to leave home.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A hen laying eggs, one brown and one white

STOPPED LAYING

Chickens sometimes come up with unique calls they use around their owners. Stanley is given a name.

COMEDY/DRAMA | FEMALE

A battle costume of a soldier including a helm and a dagger

SWORD SHOCK

A woman goes into battle in medieval times to avenge her sisters. Shock overwhelms her.

DRAMA | FEMALE

A black and white image of a guy playing the drums

TAPPING OUT

A drummer playing at 10PM. Is tonight the night you'll slip a strongly-worded letter under his door?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man in a horizon pointing out a flashlight to the sky

THE GOLDEN RECORD

A teenage alient discovers the record Earth sent into space… and it's totally lame.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A woman trying to xerox a piece of paper

THE LONG EDGE

But what exactly IS the "best paper to stock tray three of the level 8 printer"?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A hand wearing a yellow glove doing a symbol of a dog

THWARTED

A robber is almost thwarted by a little girl when she points her finger at him and says, "Bang bang you're dead."

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE

A man holding a clock infront of his face

TWO THOUSAND AN HOUR

Two thousand dollars an hour? Here's what I'd actually pay two thousand dollars an hour for…

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

URINAL FLY

You know those plastic flies in urinals? The ones you pee on so you don't miss? What if it was a real fly?

COMEDY | MALE

A sleeping woman's face covered with a scarf

WARMING UP

Emotions are like the weather. If you're cold, a small drop in temperature has a huge effect. But can you warm people up?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A magical place where there is a bed above a pyramid with clouds in the background

WONDERLAND

When your husband goes to sleep, you dream of handsome, shirtless men, foot massages and gaffer tape.

DRAMA | FEMALE

Two couples sitting on a couch talking about their problems

WORK OUT

An enthusiastic exercise instructor with a group who can't quite follow.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A beggar sitting on the streets holding a sign board

YOU HAVE TO CARE

You give a homeless guy a coffee and he doesn't even thank you. Not even a nod. He's just down on his luck, right?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A woman infront of a laptop doing zoom meeting

ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM

Two and a half hours in to that neverending Zoom meeting and you really need to pee. I mean really.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE