Audition Monologues by The Monologue Project

A Dentist looking problematic while sitting on his Dental Chair

ACCIDENTAL JOHN

John Smith goes to the dentist. Or does he?

COMEDY | MALE

ANTICIPATION

The anticipation of your Hibiki Harmony 30th anniversary limited edition whiskey might be better than the drink itself.

COMEDY/DRAMA | FEMALE

BABY FEET

Small feet, small… you know. That's what they keep saying to him, anyway.

COMEDY | MALE

BABY HANDS

When your hands are so small you can model kids' toys for K-Mart, don't expect to attract anyone but creeps.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

BAD TIMING

The best time to bash someone to death is when you're neighbour is screaming, "I'll kill you!" at a wasp.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

BAND CAMP

Your plan to get Jasper Whitehorse's daughter to do your flute lessons worked! Now, don't fangirl too hard.

DRAMA | MALE

BRIDEZILLA

A bride plans her perfect day. Everything is coming along, though one important thing is still missing.

COMEDY | FEMALE

Busy people inside a cafe while it is raining outside

CAFE FENG SHUI

When a guy starts coming to the café you love with his stupid leather jacket and his stupid thermos.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

CHOICE PARALYSIS

Every choice you make leaves an infinite number of unmade choices dying in the dust.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A hunter in the wild holding his rifle and carrying his equipments

CLEARLY AN ACCIDENT

A duck hunter kills a protestor. "Clearly an accident," says the magistrate.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

CLICK TO KILL

When your homophobic high school friend clicks his fingers and gets hit by a bus…

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

CUT

Nothing's worse than when your scene ends up on the cutting room floor. Especially when you did… you know…

COMEDY | FEMALE

A kidnapped woman with a black cloth covered in her face

DECOY WIFE

If you're going to kidnap and ransom out the boss's wife, you'd better make sure she's the right person.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

An old guy looking in pain while jogging in the beack

DODGED THE BULLET

Would you fake a heart attack to cover a fart?

COMEDY | MALE

DON'T PAT MY DOG

Johnny gets jealous when his dog shows affection to a friend.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man in the ground looking scared of the man infront of him

DROPPED COMMITMENT

The consequences of a dropped commitment are real and raw.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man studying about the moon in his tablet

EDUCATION

Some people need an education. Sometimes it's a tap about the noggin.

DRAMA | MALE

A woman that looks shocked while covering her mouth

EX SEX DOLL

Imagine coming home to find your husband having sex with a blow up doll with his ex's face taped to it.

COMEDY | FEMALE

Close up of eyes with the expression of fear

EXPOSURE THERAPY

If you face your fears a little bit at a time, you'll get used to them… until your fears start moving in front of you.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man and a woman being investigated by surveillance officer

FAIR PARANOIA

A known murderer grows increasingly paranoid as an army of untrained intelligence officers perform surveillance on him.

DRAMA | MALE

FOR THE EXERCISE

The best and worst things about being a prostitute.

COMEDY/DRAMA | FEMALE

A man being bullied by three persons in a party

FORCED FAILS

Have you noticed how people always laugh when they hurt themselves in fail videos? Is this a new way to spread joy?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A box of Froot Loops cereals being poured in a bowl

FUCK BITES

Kellogg's cornflakes were designed to suppress your sexual appetite. Where's the cereal that increases it?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A silhouette of a man and a woman in a beach

GETTING IN FIRST

If you found out your husband was going to have an affair, wouldn't you want to get in first?

DRAMA | FEMALE

A silhouette of soldiers carrying their arms and packs to the battle field

GETTING OUT OF THE WAR

You hate the invaders, but you're a coward. Can acting crazy get you out of the war you don't want to die in?

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

GLOBOPHOBIA

A paralysing fear of balloons and a child in great danger.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

GOD'S ERROR

Is praying telling God he got it wrong?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

HANGRY

Happiness makes you angry. Anger makes you sad. Sadness gives you perspective - you have a lot to be happy about.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

HEALTHY HABITS

A health freak with a dirty habit.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A short haired kid with a dirt in her hands

HIT MY KID

A neighbourhood kid kills a man's dog and comes around with his dad to admit his wrongdoing. Violence ensues.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE

A group of friends gathering in the kitchen while drinking wine and talking to each other

HOSPITALITY WITHOUT CONSENT

Accused of a horrible crime when all he did was insist she come in for a meal…

DRAMA | MALE

A couple and a server taking their orders

HOW WAS YOUR MEAL?

A very honest response to a waiter asking "How was your meal?" Maybe a little too honest.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man with a mullet hairstyle facing the camera fiercely

I CAME HOME AND DISCOVERED MY BOYFRIEND HAS A MULLET

Would you do it? If you came home and your boyfriend had a mullet? Would YOU do it too?

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A husband touching her wife's pregnant belly

I F**CKED HER BECAUSE I LOVE HER

Chad's imagination isn't all that great. What can he do to feel a bit more appreciation for his wife?

COMEDY | MALE

I HOPE SHE SUFFERED

When you bump into the guy who unfairly dismissed you and taunt him about his dead wife.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A dramatic shot of Mcdonalds McCafe store

INBRED REVENGE

Damien tries to blow up a McDonald's by hitting the stove with a baseball bat.

COMEDY| MALE/FEMALE

A nerdy guy infront of his laptop while having a lot of books on the side

INSULTED INCEL

Her last words were: "You were pretty good, for an incel."

DRAMA | MALE

A guy hiding his face in a stack of money

IT'S JUST THAT
NOW WE KNOW

Power doesn't corrupt. It just shines daylight on who you really are

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

Two couples walking towards the Parking lot

IT'S NOT VERY GOOD

Why would a rich person shoplift? And why did they deface that disabled child's artwork?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

KEYBOARD WARRIOR

Making the world a better place, one dickhead at a time.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

KIDNAPPER'S CONUNDRUM

When you kill a murderer, what do you do with the witness?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A top shot of two kids laying down beside each other while covering their faces

LYING

When you realise you've been nothing but insincere, the time is right to show your true feelings.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A guy pointing out a graph data in a paper

MAN VS PORN

Mark's monkey brain VS technology that gets twice as good every two years. Can he fix his broken spreadsheet?

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE

MY SPOT

What do you do when someone's in your spot at the gym?

COMEDY | MALE

Two couples in the couch and a guy staring at them at the door

NICE AND EMPTY

Why doesn't Daniel care that his partner cheated on him?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

ONLY PEEING

A man is arrested for peeing behind a tree in a public park. Will he save Xbox?

DRAMA | MALE

A man sitting on the floor looking scared of the man infront of him

OWNING THE HOMOPHOBES

One homophobic slur, one deadly comeback. You wanna win a fight, hit 'em in the pride.

DRAMA | MALE

A man in an edge of a bridge preparing top jump

PUTTING IT OFF

A man is about to commit suicide when he sees the new season of Game of Thrones has just dropped.

COMEDY | MALE

Two guy fighting fiercely fighting each other

REACTION

A man accidentally kills someone in the street and threatens a witness.

COMEDY | MALE

A bride and her four friends staring at each other

REALLY JILTED

Julie never thought she'd get invited to this wedding. What other occasion could repair burnt bridges?

COMEDY | FEMALE

REFUGEE PROTEST

A protester meets a refugee doctor he despises.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

RUNNER'S HIGH

Runner’s high makes exercise easy. Effortless. Energising! Not everyone gets it though.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

RUSH HOUR IN EMERGENCY

Young Benny is in emergency suffering from a spinach allergy. But the nurses are distracted by an angry drunk.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

SAUCE PRANK

When your big little brother comes up with a great prank halfway through beating you up.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A silhouette of a guy in stage with fogs all over the place

SCHRODINGER'S MORON

Schrödinger's Moron: the moron you're looking at is always bigger than the other morons.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

SHAMPOO

The world is so much better when you have killer hair.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE

A guy holding his table while taking time to pick a video to watch

SMEARED

After being jailed for a murder you didn't commit, you get out to find a YouTube video detailing your guilt.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE