Audition Monologues by The Monologue Project

A ballerina guy dancing in an open space

A STAGGERING DANCER

"A staggering dancer" is not quite the review you'd hope for.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A laptop with a post it that says "Coffee Please!"

A WITH NO E

The perfect EA still makes a daily coffee for an executive who's no longer with the company.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

ABLEIST PIG

You gotta be careful what you say these days. You never know when you might cause offense

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

ACCLIMATISATION

Emotions are like the weather. If you're cold, a small drop in temperature has a huge effect. But can you build resilience?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

ANTICIPATION

The anticipation of your Hibiki Harmony 30th anniversary limited edition whiskey might be better than the drink itself.

COMEDY/DRAMA | FEMALE

A middle aged Blonde woman cleaning her clothe with a pet hair removal roller

AS GOOD AS A HOLIDAY

It’s not OCD, I just like things in a specific way and deviations are like an itch inside my brain which gets worse and worse.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A couple holding hands and both of them are wearing jeans

ASKING FOR HER HAND

A lesbian asks a conservative father for his daughter's hand in marriage.

DRAMA | FEMALE

BABY HANDS

When your hands are so small you can model kids' toys for K-Mart, don't expect to attract anyone but creeps.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

BAD TIMING

The best time to bash someone to death is when you're neighbour is screaming, "I'll kill you!" at a wasp.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

BIG SCORE

How guilty would you feel if you sold 450 identical pairs of shoes to a suicide cult?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

BILLY DOESN'T LIKE YOU

Breaking up your child's friendship because you really can't stand the kid's mother.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

BITE YOUR TOUNGE

A foul-mouthed child, a passerby who won't have a bar of it.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

BLANK

A sufferer of chronic fatigue syndrome describes how life goes by without them.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

BRIDEZILLA

A bride plans her perfect day. Everything is coming along, though one important thing is still missing.

COMEDY | FEMALE

Busy people inside a cafe while it is raining outside

CAFE FENG SHUI

When a guy starts coming to the café you love with his stupid leather jacket and his stupid thermos.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man in a black hoodie staring at his phone and laptop

CAN'T BITE BACK

How do you fight back when you're bullied online?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

CANCEROUS BREAKUP

Are you a monster if you broke up with your girlfriend because she got cancer? Yes, yes you are.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A guy pushing a stack of boxes violently

CHANGE BLINDNESS

If something falls apart slowly over time, you don't notice it. It could be your kitchen bench, or your husband.

DRAMA | FEMALE

CHOICE PARALYSIS

Every choice you make leaves an infinite number of unmade choices dying in the dust.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

CITIZEN'S ARREST

Could you stand by if a crime were committed? A crime as grave as… spitting one's gum on the ground?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A hunter in the wild holding his rifle and carrying his equipments

CLEARLY AN ACCIDENT

A duck hunter kills a protestor. "Clearly an accident," says the magistrate.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

CLICK TO KILL

When your homophobic high school friend clicks his fingers and gets hit by a bus…

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A monobloc chair in the middle of the road

COURTESY SEAT

A pregnant lady, elderly person, disabled person and injured person all fight for the courtesy seat.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A person covering up his/her face in fear

COWARD

A socially awkward woman in the park, a shady man, playing children and a coward.

DRAMA | FEMALE

A middle aged woman talking to airport officers

CUSTOMS INTERROGATION

An 80-year-old lady is stopped at an airport and her daughter gives the customs officers a piece of her mind.

DRAMA | FEMALE

CUT

Nothing's worse than when your scene ends up on the cutting room floor. Especially when you did… you know…

COMEDY | FEMALE

A kidnapped woman with a black cloth covered in her face

DECOY WIFE

If you're going to kidnap and ransom out the boss's wife, you'd better make sure she's the right person.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

DON'T PAT MY DOG

Johnny gets jealous when his dog shows affection to a friend.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

DONUT TESTER

After failing a job interview, a fake donut tester gets serious about the artform.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man sitting in the seashore while watching the sunset

DREAM HOLIDAY

A holiday to a small town where someone's mother went missing 20 years ago.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man in the ground looking scared of the man infront of him

DROPPED COMMITMENT

The consequences of a dropped commitment are real and raw.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A depressed woman watching her friend getting kicked out of the house

ENDZONED

Being friendzoned sucks. But being endzoned - that's something else indeed.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A woman standing infront of a tunnel of lights

EVERYONE OWNS A TELEPORTER IN THE FUTURE

You arrive in present times from the future but your teleporter has run out of battery. Would anyone believe you?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man that looks problematic while talking in a phone booth

EVERYTHING I EVER DID WAS FOR YOU

Your mum calls you and says "everything I ever did was for you", "I love you" and "goodbye". What's about to happen?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A woman that looks shocked while covering her mouth

EX SEX DOLL

Imagine coming home to find your husband having sex with a blow up doll with his ex's face taped to it.

COMEDY | FEMALE

EXPOSURE THERAPY

If you face your fears a little bit at a time, you'll get used to them… until your fears start moving in front of you.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A woman staring at a hole in the wall with her eyes being visible because of the ray of light

FAMILIAR EYES

Would you let an innocent person have their organs harvested to save your child's life?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

FOR THE EXERCISE

The best and worst things about being a prostitute.

COMEDY/DRAMA | FEMALE

A man being bullied by three persons in a party

FORCED FAILS

Have you noticed how people always laugh when they hurt themselves in fail videos? Is this a new way to spread joy?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A box of Froot Loops cereals being poured in a bowl

FUCK BITES

Kellogg's cornflakes were designed to suppress your sexual appetite. Where's the cereal that increases it?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A muscular man in a gym doing his shoulder workout

GAINS

I have to keep going. I have to be stronger. I have to gain, because I don’t know what will be thrown my way.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A bearded guy wearing a glasses with codes reflecting in his face

GENIUS

Am I a genius? I'd sound like a wanker if I said "yes", wouldn't I?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A silhouette of a man and a woman in a beach

GETTING IN FIRST

If you found out your husband was going to have an affair, wouldn't you want to get in first?

DRAMA | FEMALE

A silhouette of soldiers carrying their arms and packs to the battle field

GETTING OUT OF THE WAR

You hate the invaders, but you're a coward. Can acting crazy get you out of the war you don't want to die in?

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

GLOBOPHOBIA

A paralysing fear of balloons and a child in great danger.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

GOD'S ERROR

Is praying telling God he got it wrong?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

GUIDE POOCH

Best café in the world. Bad coffee, but loads of doggos. But what happens when a guide dog comes by?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

GUILTY, NOT GUILTY

Too guilty to sell that fancy watch you found for a profit? Maybe the next guy won't have the same reservations.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A silhouette of two people shaking hands

HAGGLING

How perverse it is to haggle with someone in a third world country when your ten cents is worth ten dollars to them.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

HANGRY

Happiness makes you angry. Anger makes you sad. Sadness gives you perspective - you have a lot to be happy about.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

HEALTHY HABITS

A health freak with a dirty habit.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A couple and a server taking their orders

HOW WAS YOUR MEAL?

A very honest response to a waiter asking "How was your meal?" Maybe a little too honest.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man with a mullet hairstyle facing the camera fiercely

I CAME HOME AND DISCOVERED MY BOYFRIEND HAS A MULLET

Would you do it? If you came home and your boyfriend had a mullet? Would YOU do it too?

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man and a woman arguing with each other

I COULD'VE STOPPED HIM

You protected your husband when he did an awful thing for the right reason. But what if it escalates?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

I HOPE SHE SUFFERED

When you bump into the guy who unfairly dismissed you and taunt him about his dead wife.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A laptop, mouse, cellphone and a book tied and locked up together with a chain

I LOST THE PASSKEY TO OUR MUM'S BRAIN

Your mum's brain is stored on a passkey-protected hard drive, but the cleaner just threw out the passkey.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

IMPORTANT DECISIONS

A last meal. And it's ice cream. And it's for a dog.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE