Audition Monologues by The Monologue Project

Two guys staring with each other looking inlove

GAY BY ELIMINATION

Just because you're dating another man, doesn't mean you're gay.

COMEDY | MALE

A bearded guy wearing a glasses with codes reflecting in his face

GENIUS

Am I a genius? I'd sound like a wanker if I said "yes", wouldn't I?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A silhouette of a man and a woman in a beach

GETTING IN FIRST

If you found out your husband was going to have an affair, wouldn't you want to get in first?

DRAMA | FEMALE

A silhouette of soldiers carrying their arms and packs to the battle field

GETTING OUT OF THE WAR

You hate the invaders, but you're a coward. Can acting crazy get you out of the war you don't want to die in?

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

GLOBOPHOBIA

A paralysing fear of balloons and a child in great danger.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

GOD'S ERROR

Is praying telling God he got it wrong?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

FREE DOWNLOAD

GUIDE POOCH

Best café in the world. Bad coffee, but loads of doggos. But what happens when a guide dog comes by?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

GUILTY, NOT GUILTY

Too guilty to sell that fancy watch you found for a profit? Maybe the next guy won't have the same reservations.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

FREE DOWNLOAD

A silhouette of two people shaking hands

HAGGLING

How perverse it is to haggle with someone in a third world country when your ten cents is worth ten dollars to them.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

HANGRY

Happiness makes you angry. Anger makes you sad. Sadness gives you perspective - you have a lot to be happy about.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

HEALTHY HABITS

A health freak with a dirty habit.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A short haired kid with a dirt in her hands

HIT MY KID

A neighbourhood kid kills a man's dog and comes around with his dad to admit his wrongdoing. Violence ensues.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE

A group of friends gathering in the kitchen while drinking wine and talking to each other

HOSPITALITY WITHOUT CONSENT

Accused of a horrible crime when all he did was insist she come in for a meal…

DRAMA | MALE

A couple and a server taking their orders

HOW WAS YOUR MEAL?

A very honest response to a waiter asking "How was your meal?" Maybe a little too honest.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man with a mullet hairstyle facing the camera fiercely

I CAME HOME AND DISCOVERED MY BOYFRIEND HAS A MULLET

Would you do it? If you came home and your boyfriend had a mullet? Would YOU do it too?

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man and a woman arguing with each other

I COULD'VE STOPPED HIM

You protected your husband when he did an awful thing for the right reason. But what if it escalates?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A husband touching her wife's pregnant belly

I F**CKED HER BECAUSE I LOVE HER

Chad's imagination isn't all that great. What can he do to feel a bit more appreciation for his wife?

COMEDY | MALE

I HOPE SHE SUFFERED

When you bump into the guy who unfairly dismissed you and taunt him about his dead wife.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A laptop, mouse, cellphone and a book tied and locked up together with a chain

I LOST THE PASSKEY TO OUR MUM'S BRAIN

Your mum's brain is stored on a passkey-protected hard drive, but the cleaner just threw out the passkey.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

IMPORTANT DECISIONS

A last meal. And it's ice cream. And it's for a dog.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man sitting holding his baton and Panama hat

IMPULSIVE PROBLEMS

When you impulsively kill your boss and dispose of most of his body, someone has to clean up the mess.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A dramatic shot of Mcdonalds McCafe store

INBRED REVENGE

Damien tries to blow up a McDonald's by hitting the stove with a baseball bat.

COMEDY| MALE/FEMALE

A nerdy guy infront of his laptop while having a lot of books on the side

INSULTED INCEL

Her last words were: "You were pretty good, for an incel."

DRAMA | MALE

A guy hiding his face in a stack of money

IT'S JUST THAT
NOW WE KNOW

Power doesn't corrupt. It just shines daylight on who you really are

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

Two couples walking towards the Parking lot

IT'S NOT VERY GOOD

Why would a rich person shoplift? And why did they deface that disabled child's artwork?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

Two couples hugging each other while both are looking at their phones at the same time

IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S MY EX

When your accent reminds your date of her ex cheating on her

COMEDY | FEMALE

KEYBOARD WARRIOR

Making the world a better place, one dickhead at a time.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

KIDNAPPER'S CONUNDRUM

When you kill a murderer, what do you do with the witness?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

FREE DOWNLOAD

KNOWING A NAME

Can the power of knowing someone's name get you free rent?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A woman holding her foot and acting like it was a phone

LIZARD HUMOUR

Maybe you're not quite as witty as you thought you were.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A woman loading the laundry machine with half of her body inside it

LOVE IN THE LAUNDROMAT

Is it easier to go talk to someone or just buy the laundromat you saw them in and wait for them to come back?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A newly wed couple staring in love with each other with full of lights in the background

LOVING MANDY

You love Mandy. When's a good time to tell Mandy this? Why, Mandy's wedding, of course!

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A top shot of two kids laying down beside each other while covering their faces

LYING

When you realise you've been nothing but insincere, the time is right to show your true feelings.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A guy pointing out a graph data in a paper

MAN VS PORN

Mark's monkey brain VS technology that gets twice as good every two years. Can he fix his broken spreadsheet?

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE

A detective sitting in a chair holding a magnifying glass while smoking a tobacco

MY DAD GOT
HIRED BY THE CIA

Why would the CIA hire the most technologically inept human being on the planet?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

MY SPOT

What do you do when someone's in your spot at the gym?

COMEDY | MALE

Two couples in the couch and a guy staring at them at the door

NICE AND EMPTY

Why doesn't Daniel care that his partner cheated on him?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A dealer talking to a client waiting to sign a contract

NON-SERIOUS

A ridiculous counter offer to a reasonable plea bargain. Offensive? Sure. A sign of desperation? No doubt in the world.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A stack of vegetables in the grocery store

NOT A HEAD OF A LETTUCE

Tokyo finds a human head in a delivery of fresh vegetables. Will customer service help?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

NOT FOR FRIENDS

There are some things you should only do with your partner, not a friend.

DRAMA | MALE

OKAY COP, BETTER COP

An okay cop does the job. A good cop puts every single crim behind bars.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

ONE HOUR

Two thousand, three hundred and eighty-two hours, two thousand, three hundred and eighty-two lies.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

ONLY PEEING

A man is arrested for peeing behind a tree in a public park. Will he save Xbox?

DRAMA | MALE

A man sitting on the floor looking scared of the man infront of him

OWNING THE HOMOPHOBES

One homophobic slur, one deadly comeback. You wanna win a fight, hit 'em in the pride.

DRAMA | MALE