Audition Monologues by The Monologue Project

A ballerina guy dancing in an open space

A STAGGERING DANCER

"A staggering dancer" is not quite the review you'd hope for.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A laptop with a post it that says "Coffee Please!"

A WITH NO E

The perfect EA still makes a daily coffee for an executive who's no longer with the company.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

ABLEIST PIG

You gotta be careful what you say these days. You never know when you might cause offense

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A Dentist looking problematic while sitting on his Dental Chair

ACCIDENTAL JOHN

John Smith goes to the dentist. Or does he?

COMEDY | MALE

ACCLIMATISATION

Emotions are like the weather. If you're cold, a small drop in temperature has a huge effect. But can you build resilience?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A middle aged Blonde woman cleaning her clothe with a pet hair removal roller

AS GOOD AS A HOLIDAY

It’s not OCD, I just like things in a specific way and deviations are like an itch inside my brain which gets worse and worse.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

BABY FEET

Small feet, small… you know. That's what they keep saying to him, anyway.

COMEDY | MALE

BABY HANDS

When your hands are so small you can model kids' toys for K-Mart, don't expect to attract anyone but creeps.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

BAD TIMING

The best time to bash someone to death is when you're neighbour is screaming, "I'll kill you!" at a wasp.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

BAND CAMP

Your plan to get Jasper Whitehorse's daughter to do your flute lessons worked! Now, don't fangirl too hard.

DRAMA | MALE

BIG SCORE

How guilty would you feel if you sold 450 identical pairs of shoes to a suicide cult?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

BILLY DOESN'T LIKE YOU

Breaking up your child's friendship because you really can't stand the kid's mother.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

BITE YOUR TOUNGE

A foul-mouthed child, a passerby who won't have a bar of it.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

BLANK

A sufferer of chronic fatigue syndrome describes how life goes by without them.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

Busy people inside a cafe while it is raining outside

CAFE FENG SHUI

When a guy starts coming to the café you love with his stupid leather jacket and his stupid thermos.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man in a black hoodie staring at his phone and laptop

CAN'T BITE BACK

How do you fight back when you're bullied online?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

CANCEROUS BREAKUP

Are you a monster if you broke up with your girlfriend because she got cancer? Yes, yes you are.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

CHOICE PARALYSIS

Every choice you make leaves an infinite number of unmade choices dying in the dust.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

CITIZEN'S ARREST

Could you stand by if a crime were committed? A crime as grave as… spitting one's gum on the ground?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A hunter in the wild holding his rifle and carrying his equipments

CLEARLY AN ACCIDENT

A duck hunter kills a protestor. "Clearly an accident," says the magistrate.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

CLICK TO KILL

When your homophobic high school friend clicks his fingers and gets hit by a bus…

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A monobloc chair in the middle of the road

COURTESY SEAT

A pregnant lady, elderly person, disabled person and injured person all fight for the courtesy seat.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

CUT

Nothing's worse than when your scene ends up on the cutting room floor. Especially when you did… you know…

COMEDY | FEMALE

A kidnapped woman with a black cloth covered in her face

DECOY WIFE

If you're going to kidnap and ransom out the boss's wife, you'd better make sure she's the right person.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

An old guy looking in pain while jogging in the beack

DODGED THE BULLET

Would you fake a heart attack to cover a fart?

COMEDY | MALE

DON'T PAT MY DOG

Johnny gets jealous when his dog shows affection to a friend.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

DONUT TESTER

After failing a job interview, a fake donut tester gets serious about the artform.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man sitting in the seashore while watching the sunset

DREAM HOLIDAY

A holiday to a small town where someone's mother went missing 20 years ago.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man in the ground looking scared of the man infront of him

DROPPED COMMITMENT

The consequences of a dropped commitment are real and raw.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man studying about the moon in his tablet

EDUCATION

Some people need an education. Sometimes it's a tap about the noggin.

DRAMA | MALE

A depressed woman watching her friend getting kicked out of the house

ENDZONED

Being friendzoned sucks. But being endzoned - that's something else indeed.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A woman standing infront of a tunnel of lights

EVERYONE OWNS A TELEPORTER IN THE FUTURE

You arrive in present times from the future but your teleporter has run out of battery. Would anyone believe you?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man that looks problematic while talking in a phone booth

EVERYTHING I EVER DID WAS FOR YOU

Your mum calls you and says "everything I ever did was for you", "I love you" and "goodbye". What's about to happen?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

Close up of eyes with the expression of fear

EXPOSURE THERAPY

If you face your fears a little bit at a time, you'll get used to them… until your fears start moving in front of you.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man and a woman being investigated by surveillance officer

FAIR PARANOIA

A known murderer grows increasingly paranoid as an army of untrained intelligence officers perform surveillance on him.

DRAMA | MALE

A woman staring at a hole in the wall with her eyes being visible because of the ray of light

FAMILIAR EYES

Would you let an innocent person have their organs harvested to save your child's life?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man being bullied by three persons in a party

FORCED FAILS

Have you noticed how people always laugh when they hurt themselves in fail videos? Is this a new way to spread joy?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A box of Froot Loops cereals being poured in a bowl

FUCK BITES

Kellogg's cornflakes were designed to suppress your sexual appetite. Where's the cereal that increases it?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A muscular man in a gym doing his shoulder workout

GAINS

I have to keep going. I have to be stronger. I have to gain, because I don’t know what will be thrown my way.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

Two guys staring with each other looking inlove

GAY BY ELIMINATION

Just because you're dating another man, doesn't mean you're gay.

COMEDY | MALE

A bearded guy wearing a glasses with codes reflecting in his face

GENIUS

Am I a genius? I'd sound like a wanker if I said "yes", wouldn't I?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A silhouette of soldiers carrying their arms and packs to the battle field

GETTING OUT OF THE WAR

You hate the invaders, but you're a coward. Can acting crazy get you out of the war you don't want to die in?

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

GLOBOPHOBIA

A paralysing fear of balloons and a child in great danger.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

GOD'S ERROR

Is praying telling God he got it wrong?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

GUIDE POOCH

Best café in the world. Bad coffee, but loads of doggos. But what happens when a guide dog comes by?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

GUILTY, NOT GUILTY

Too guilty to sell that fancy watch you found for a profit? Maybe the next guy won't have the same reservations.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A silhouette of two people shaking hands

HAGGLING

How perverse it is to haggle with someone in a third world country when your ten cents is worth ten dollars to them.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

HANGRY

Happiness makes you angry. Anger makes you sad. Sadness gives you perspective - you have a lot to be happy about.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

HEALTHY HABITS

A health freak with a dirty habit.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A short haired kid with a dirt in her hands

HIT MY KID

A neighbourhood kid kills a man's dog and comes around with his dad to admit his wrongdoing. Violence ensues.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE

A group of friends gathering in the kitchen while drinking wine and talking to each other

HOSPITALITY WITHOUT CONSENT

Accused of a horrible crime when all he did was insist she come in for a meal…

DRAMA | MALE

A couple and a server taking their orders

HOW WAS YOUR MEAL?

A very honest response to a waiter asking "How was your meal?" Maybe a little too honest.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A man with a mullet hairstyle facing the camera fiercely

I CAME HOME AND DISCOVERED MY BOYFRIEND HAS A MULLET

Would you do it? If you came home and your boyfriend had a mullet? Would YOU do it too?

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man and a woman arguing with each other

I COULD'VE STOPPED HIM

You protected your husband when he did an awful thing for the right reason. But what if it escalates?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A husband touching her wife's pregnant belly

I F**CKED HER BECAUSE I LOVE HER

Chad's imagination isn't all that great. What can he do to feel a bit more appreciation for his wife?

COMEDY | MALE

I HOPE SHE SUFFERED

When you bump into the guy who unfairly dismissed you and taunt him about his dead wife.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A laptop, mouse, cellphone and a book tied and locked up together with a chain

I LOST THE PASSKEY TO OUR MUM'S BRAIN

Your mum's brain is stored on a passkey-protected hard drive, but the cleaner just threw out the passkey.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

IMPORTANT DECISIONS

A last meal. And it's ice cream. And it's for a dog.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man sitting holding his baton and Panama hat

IMPULSIVE PROBLEMS

When you impulsively kill your boss and dispose of most of his body, someone has to clean up the mess.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A dramatic shot of Mcdonalds McCafe store

INBRED REVENGE

Damien tries to blow up a McDonald's by hitting the stove with a baseball bat.

COMEDY| MALE/FEMALE

A nerdy guy infront of his laptop while having a lot of books on the side

INSULTED INCEL

Her last words were: "You were pretty good, for an incel."

DRAMA | MALE

A guy hiding his face in a stack of money

IT'S JUST THAT
NOW WE KNOW

Power doesn't corrupt. It just shines daylight on who you really are

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

Two couples walking towards the Parking lot

IT'S NOT VERY GOOD

Why would a rich person shoplift? And why did they deface that disabled child's artwork?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

KEYBOARD WARRIOR

Making the world a better place, one dickhead at a time.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

KIDNAPPER'S CONUNDRUM

When you kill a murderer, what do you do with the witness?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

KNOWING A NAME

Can the power of knowing someone's name get you free rent?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A woman holding her foot and acting like it was a phone

LIZARD HUMOUR

Maybe you're not quite as witty as you thought you were.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A woman loading the laundry machine with half of her body inside it

LOVE IN THE LAUNDROMAT

Is it easier to go talk to someone or just buy the laundromat you saw them in and wait for them to come back?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A newly wed couple staring in love with each other with full of lights in the background

LOVING MANDY

You love Mandy. When's a good time to tell Mandy this? Why, Mandy's wedding, of course!

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A top shot of two kids laying down beside each other while covering their faces

LYING

When you realise you've been nothing but insincere, the time is right to show your true feelings.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A guy pointing out a graph data in a paper

MAN VS PORN

Mark's monkey brain VS technology that gets twice as good every two years. Can he fix his broken spreadsheet?

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE

A detective sitting in a chair holding a magnifying glass while smoking a tobacco

MY DAD GOT
HIRED BY THE CIA

Why would the CIA hire the most technologically inept human being on the planet?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

MY SPOT

What do you do when someone's in your spot at the gym?

COMEDY | MALE

Two couples in the couch and a guy staring at them at the door

NICE AND EMPTY

Why doesn't Daniel care that his partner cheated on him?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A dealer talking to a client waiting to sign a contract

NON-SERIOUS

A ridiculous counter offer to a reasonable plea bargain. Offensive? Sure. A sign of desperation? No doubt in the world.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A stack of vegetables in the grocery store

NOT A HEAD OF A LETTUCE

Tokyo finds a human head in a delivery of fresh vegetables. Will customer service help?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

NOT FOR FRIENDS

There are some things you should only do with your partner, not a friend.

DRAMA | MALE

OKAY COP, BETTER COP

An okay cop does the job. A good cop puts every single crim behind bars.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

ONE HOUR

Two thousand, three hundred and eighty-two hours, two thousand, three hundred and eighty-two lies.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

ONLY PEEING

A man is arrested for peeing behind a tree in a public park. Will he save Xbox?

DRAMA | MALE

A man sitting on the floor looking scared of the man infront of him

OWNING THE HOMOPHOBES

One homophobic slur, one deadly comeback. You wanna win a fight, hit 'em in the pride.

DRAMA | MALE

Mouth biting a pill with a happy face on it

PILLS FOR GRIEF AND GUILT

Taking a pill after the death of your child can totally remove your grief. But will the guilt that makes you feel be worse?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A crying blonde woman holding a handkerchief while blowing her nose

PRETALIATION

Would you kill someone you knew would hurt someone you love? An act of pretaliation might be needed.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A group of protests covering a part of the streets

PRO PROTEST

An accidental protestor finds an addictive new pursuit.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

PROCRASTINATION

Trying to write, succeeding in procrastination. Could it be they don't want to write the content?

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

PTSD

Once a soldier, always a soldier. Thrashing that man was an accident.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man in an edge of a bridge preparing top jump

PUTTING IT OFF

A man is about to commit suicide when he sees the new season of Game of Thrones has just dropped.

COMEDY | MALE

Woman hand on the phone playing a music in an app

QUIET CARRIAGE COURTESY

Don't you hate that one person who always plays dance music in the quiet carriage?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

Two skulls biting a cigarette with ashes, lighter and a coin beside it

RANGER DANGER

A park ranger is fighting a man who's scattering his brother's ashes. Is it an injustice or a case of "live and let live"?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

Two guy fighting fiercely fighting each other

REACTION

A man accidentally kills someone in the street and threatens a witness.

COMEDY | MALE

REFUGEE PROTEST

A protester meets a refugee doctor he despises.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

RUNNER'S HIGH

Runner’s high makes exercise easy. Effortless. Energising! Not everyone gets it though.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

RUSH HOUR IN EMERGENCY

Young Benny is in emergency suffering from a spinach allergy. But the nurses are distracted by an angry drunk.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man in a black hoodie typing at his keyboard

RUSSIA #1 HACKER

Russia #1 hacker protect you from bad government.

COMEDY | MALE

SAUCE PRANK

When your big little brother comes up with a great prank halfway through beating you up.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A silhouette of a guy in stage with fogs all over the place

SCHRODINGER'S MORON

Schrödinger's Moron: the moron you're looking at is always bigger than the other morons.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

SECRET GRANDMASTER

You played Tetris so much you accidentally become best in the world. Don't let anyone see you though!

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A silhouette of a guy inside a cell facing the window lights

SERVED COLD

It's the day your son's murderer is released from prison. You have no choice but to deliver real justice.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

SHAMPOO

The world is so much better when you have killer hair.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE

A guy holding his table while taking time to pick a video to watch

SMEARED

After being jailed for a murder you didn't commit, you get out to find a YouTube video detailing your guilt.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

SMELLOLOGIST

What's a weirder career than making beer out of vaginal bacteria? A sex doll smellologist.

COMEDY | MALE

A pixelised game bug in a yellow bricked wall

SPEED RUNNER

A video game speed runner is losing to King RnG… until a new glitch appears.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

BUY SCRIPT IN "AUDITIONATRIUM"

A man in a black hoodie staring down to the floor

STAY

A teen with an unhappy school life tries to convince their mum not to leave home.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A hen laying eggs, one brown and one white

STOPPED LAYING

Chickens sometimes come up with unique calls they use around their owners. Stanley is given a name.

COMEDY/DRAMA | FEMALE

A man holding a rooster while smoking a cigarette

STUPID ROOSTERS

Roosters which haven't quite got it right.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A black and white image of a guy playing the drums

TAPPING OUT

A drummer playing at 10PM. Is tonight the night you'll slip a strongly-worded letter under his door?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

TERRORFIED

A bomb explodes at a stadium and blinding chaos follows.

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man in a horizon pointing out a flashlight to the sky

THE GOLDEN RECORD

A teenage alient discovers the record Earth sent into space… and it's totally lame.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A woman trying to xerox a piece of paper

THE LONG EDGE

But what exactly IS the "best paper to stock tray three of the level 8 printer"?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

THE REAL LOSER OF THE CUSTODY BATTLE IS ALWAYS THE CHILD

You can divide the furniture in a divorce, but can you divide the child? Turns out, maybe you can.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A woman standing infront of a wall with codes reflected to her face

THIS LOVE EXISTS

Could you help me find somone who looks like the AI-generated woman I fell in love with?

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A hand wearing a yellow glove doing a symbol of a dog

THWARTED

A robber is almost thwarted by a little girl when she points her finger at him and says, "Bang bang you're dead."

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE

TRASHED APARTMENT

Saving the world one tweet at a time.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

TWINS

When your mates ask you if you'd "do twins" in front of your girlfriend, what are you supposed to say?

COMEDY | MALE

A man holding a clock infront of his face

TWO THOUSAND AN HOUR

Two thousand dollars an hour? Here's what I'd actually pay two thousand dollars an hour for…

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A man under the blanket holding a cup of starbucks coffee

UPSELLING

When there's not enough cash in the till at Starbucks, a robber teaches the barista sales skills.

COMEDY/DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

URINAL FLY

You know those plastic flies in urinals? The ones you pee on so you don't miss? What if it was a real fly?

COMEDY | MALE

WARMING UP

Emotions are like the weather. If you're cold, a small drop in temperature has a huge effect. But can you warm people up?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

Two couples sitting on a couch talking about their problems

WORK OUT

An enthusiastic exercise instructor with a group who can't quite follow.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE

A beggar sitting on the streets holding a sign board

YOU HAVE TO CARE

You give a homeless guy a coffee and he doesn't even thank you. Not even a nod. He's just down on his luck, right?

DRAMA | MALE/FEMALE

A woman infront of a laptop doing zoom meeting

ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM

Two and a half hours in to that neverending Zoom meeting and you really need to pee. I mean really.

COMEDY | MALE/FEMALE